Horses and Humans

A horse gets flies on its ass. 

Humans invented pants to solve that problem. Humans are better. 

Still in Texas. 


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No Cookies For Old Man

I am spending a few days in Houston and it is hot. Since today is my birthday, I thought it would be nice to go down by the hotel pool and have a drink.

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Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike human children? Because I do; dislike them, that is. I would not recommend having kids, either, since they are really just a trick of biology. To be fair, it isn’t really the kids I don’t like, but their parents. As Henry Kissinger once said, “There is no such thing as bad kids, just kids with bad haircuts.” Who knew the man behind the Paris Peace Accords was also a parenting phenom?

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A Dog’s Life

Someone recently either moved into one of the apartments near me, bringing with them a dog that they already owned, or they acquired a new dog and moved it into the apartment they were previously living in. Regardless of how it came to be, a new dog lives next door.

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Walk-in Bathtubs

Several months ago, I read an unreferenced and uncredited article about how walk-in bathtubs were predicted to become extremely popular in the next few years; if I had any business savvy, I would find a way to profit from that prognostication. However, I must admit that I am rather confused by the anticipated popularity of these newfangled “water closets” (maybe that isn’t the correct term for them, but I figured it is probably derived from the same Latin root as walk-in closet, so I went with it). I realize that the lack of a high edge makes a walk-in easier to step into, I was the first one to point out that lifting your legs is a sucker’s game, but I tried taking a bath in a water closet once and I was not all that impressed by the experience.

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